The Daily Candle Ritual

This is a simple but sacred way to connect with your
partner every day. The Daily Candle Ritual is
nourishment for the soul of your relationship.

The ritual takes only a minute and should be done
every day whether you feel like it or not,
especially if you don't feel like it.  Over time, it
becomes a point of safety and connection in the
relationship.  At first, it may seem that the ritual is
too simple to be meaningful.

Trust that it is not too simple.

Do the ritual exactly as described without making
any changes.  One of the values of the ritual is
that it is reliably the same every time.  It speaks
to our bodies, not our minds.  It talks to us in
ways our minds do not understand.


THE RITUAL

• sit facing each other
• light the candle
• exchange ritual statements
• blow out the candle
• get up and leave

THE GROUND RULES

• one person is the host for the ritual each day
• men host odd days
• women host even days

THE HOST

• ensures the ritual happens on his/her day
• lights and blows out the candle
• says the ritual statement first
• ensures that the ritual is terminated without further discussion

THE COUPLE AGREES

• where the ritual will occur (the same place every day is best)
• to use the candle for the ritual only

THE RITUAL STATEMENTS

Man to Partner:    "I Care About You"
Woman responds:  "I Heard You Say, You Care About Me"

Woman to Partner:  "I Appreciate You"
Man responds:          "I Heard You Say, You Appreciate Me"