Choosing the Loving Way

Connecting Sex and Spirit (and Sendai)

2011-03-19T11:27:00.009-07:00

What is Tantra?

Translated from Sanskrit, the word Tantra means "to weave" or "expand", and is a practice of accepting the highs and lows of life (and love), and weaving together the seeming opposites of spirit/body, good/bad, and even birth and death.

Moreover, Tantra is a physically-based spiritual path that accepts and celebrates the body as a temple. And yes, that includes sexuality. Tantra understands that the very energy of Life is sexual and can be used as a doorway to the sacred.

So what does any of this have to do with the triple-tragedy in Sendai?

I received a letter late last night from a friend of a friend, a young American woman who was teaching English in Sendai, and her account of the patience and tenderness with which she and her Japanese neighbors are living with one another stopped me in my tracks. She was literally describing what Tantrists call sacred space.

In the midst of all the chaos, grubbiness and hunger, she and her fellow survivors are living free from alienation and blaming. When one of their houses suddenly gets the water back on, owners put out a sign to announce to any and all who may need it. Doors are left unlocked and open (safer in all the aftershocks), and no one is concerned about looting. Strangers ask one another if everything is okay.

Life there has resumed a richness and a slowness that the elders describe as "the old days, when people used to help each other". The skies and roads are quiet, and the stars are abundant.

Big Energy

As I looked back and forth from my feeble attempt at a blog entry last night to her wonderful letter, I must admit, I had a moment of doubt. Was there anything I could possibly say about "connecting sex and spirit" that would have any relevancy in light of such profound changes as she described? Such BIG energy?

Oh.
Big energy changes everything.

Tantra acknowledges that sexuality might be about the only “big energy” we humans are aware of, or, at least, able to feel. The moments of birth and death could also be included, although being born and dying have a lot to do with sexuality.

We typically don't get much practical instruction and opportunity to become proficient at these major life occasions, much less "master" them. Nevertheless, we have all had our "moments", whether it was a wake or a birth, or losing ourselves in mind-blowing cosmic embrace. And many of us have experienced the peculiar still point that often opens up in time of catastrophe or sudden loss. None of us are strangers to Spirit.

"The" Practice

The simple perspective of noticing and honoring Spirit in all our human moments is a primary way that Tantra ushers in the same richness and slowness that my friend was describing in Sendai. As it turns out, our body-minds are geared for repose and compassion, but short of a major life intervention, we have to practice the dance of life.

It's always considered extraordinary when people come together to help each after a calamity, but what if this is our natural state of being? It's interesting to me that peace, love and tolerance is socially "weird". Similarly, why is it that our sexuality is commonly at odds with such peace and spirit?

For me, Tantra has been a way to thread together all these disparate aspects of life. The specific practice of moving the life force that I've always associated with sexuality to other parts of my body has been major. Practicing relaxation in high states of arousal in Tantra has also helped me stay calm in other circumstances of my "real" life, whether parenting or dealing with a difficult client.

In a full-blown catastrophe? We'll see.

PS - This Tuesday's Meetup Group in Prescott AZ, Connecting Love and Spirit, will be a chance for those of you in the area to learn specific exercises to connect with your own capacity to create the sacred in your life! http://www.meetup.com/The-Prescott-Tantra-Meetup-Group/

PPS - a copy of the letter from Sendai is here: http://www.keepandshare.com/doc/2678919/sendai-letter

Tools For Intimate Communication

2011-02-27T18:38:00.026-07:00

"For one human being to love another is the most difficult task. It's the work for which all other work is preparation" Rainer Maria Rilke

"Do not wait; the time will never be "just right." Start where you stand, and work with whatever tools you may have at your command, and better tools will be found as you go along." George Herbert

The Long and Grinding Road

With the exception of learning how to "slow dance" in my 7th-grade guidance class, I never learned a thing about how to communicate with the opposite sex (girls) in my formative years. My father, bless his nervous heart, tried his best in those far-flung days of 60's radicalism to assure me that anything between a man and a woman was okay, "as long as you're both in love and use rubbers". Meanwhile, the Beatles' "All You Need Is Love" droned on as the background music for my raging hormones. ("Why Don't We Do It In the Road?" was also in heavy rotation.)

Just where, pray tell, does one go to learn about "love"??

Many years later, following marriage, fathering and divorce, I stumbled upon Margot Anand's Sky-Dancing Tantra, and a simple exercise called "Intentions, Fears and Boundaries", a specific practice for speaking the truth with one's lover. And yes, it set me free, but not all at once.

The Truth Will Set You Free, But First It Will Piss You Off (Werner Erhart)

The very idea of talking, much less telling the truth in my intimate moments just seemed, well, weird. Wasn't it sufficient that my lover and I were entwined and breathing heavily, our words made obsolete by the overwhelming passion we were feeling? I remember as a young man actually practicing a kind of reckless abandon in my love-making, imagining that the fewer words spoken, the better.

Over the long haul, my way of loving without communicating in words degenerated into a tangle of false pretenses and an actual avoidance of relationship. I felt unable to ask for what I really wanted, and resented it when my partners did. Maybe love conquers all, but as a lover, I was as genuine as a costumed Napoleon!

Slowly Moving Beyond Resistance

What I came to understand as I confronted Margot's teaching was that my "strong silent type" persona was actually an elaborate way of hiding that gave strength to my negative feelings. Needless to say, my unspoken fears and anxieties prevented me from feeling safe and relaxed in the bedroom, and were even backing up and poisoning the other parts of my primary relationship!

Even though I resisted at first, I discovered that sharing these same feelings with my partner in an atmosphere of trust and sincerity dissipated their power. And as I listened to my partner truthfully expressing her deep feelings, it became obvious to both of us just how much more energy was freed up for our love-making as our bond of authenticity deepened.

As the goal of Tantra is to penetrate experience as deeply as possible, ("ecstasy"), our personal concealment of feelings become exposed as a fundamental split of the Self - they prevent us from wholeheartedly participating in love-making, or any other activity for that matter. The basic Tantric practices of creating sacred space and speaking our truth are incredibly useful tools for opening our hearts and growing into who we really are. Again, the link for a PDF to these readily accessible exercises is HERE.

"In the Spirit of Intimacy", Our Introductory Class To Tantra

Diana and I are teaching these fundamentals of Tantra, just as they were taught to us by Margot Anand, in our opening series of Meetup group gatherings in Prescott Arizona, from now through April. For more info on our In The Spirit Of Intimacy classes, visit our Prescott Tantra Meetup Group site (and join!); drop a line to gbardo@yahoo.com; or leave a message for us at 928-445-7501.

Namaste`
Glenn and Diana

Awakening To (Inner) Joy - February 22

2011-02-17T17:22:00.011-07:00

Ardhanarishvara "Thou and She art each the half of one body."
~ Pushpadanta
"You are your ideal lover." ~ Barbara Carrellas

As Diana and I began to plan our opening sessions for the Prescott Tantra Meetup Group, the obvious question was where, exactly, does one launch into this whole adventure of sexual/spiritual discovery that we call "Tantra"? And we both had to admit, after all the years we've spent practicing Sky-Dancing Tantra together, that the only real place to begin is with oneself.

In this first of our four-part series "In the Spirit of Intimacy", we'll be sharing practices and exercises that you can use from you-to-you to open up to self-generated energy and pleasure. Discover if you can actually free yourself from needing someone "else" to turn you on. We will invite you to test our theory that you are the principal source of your own pleasure. No one can give you sexual ecstasy (or spiritual realization, for that matter); it comes from within.

Awakening to your own inner joy and loving yourself has nothing to do with being self-absorbed and narcissistic, quite the contrary. Giving to yourself first means welcoming yourself as the most honored quest in your own heart. By nurturing yourself fully, you free and expand your nurturing to others, most notably your lover. "Love your neighbor as yourself" , indeed!

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Creekside Center, 337 N. Rush St, Prescott AZ

7:00 - 9:00 pm

Donations Graciously Accepted!

Questions/Comments: Diana at 928-445-7501/Glenn at 507-649-2488

Meet with like-minded others in a safe and supportive environment as we explore, communicate and celebrate the body-based spiritual path of Tantra.
With simple and fun exercises of breath, movement and communication, we will rediscover the deep wisdom of the whole body, and open to trusting the spiritual nature of our human sexuality.
Join us and celebrate the union of the masculine and feminine in yourself and in all your relationships!
Rediscover and feel how sexual energy is the physical expression of your higher consciousness
No nudity or explicit sexual activity. Held in a space of respect, safety and serenity.

"Our sexual energy is the source of our life force energy and a primary key to a happy life. What we'd like to do is awaken the inner sexual being that we often keep stuffed down in that one little lower part of our bodies and allow it to move freely throughout the entire mind, body and spirit. The part of ourselves that we call our sex center is our creative center, our life force center.

There really is no such thing as going-to-the-store energy, doing-our-work energy, and then - over there somewhere else - *sexual energy*. It's all life-force energy. Tantra is the practice of using that so-called sexual life-force energy all the time in ways that nurture us. We are all capable of feeling a lot better, but you have to be willing to learn how to feel, and it all starts with you.

We have all spent so much time looking for our ideal lovers, wondering if we've found that person or if we ever will find that person. You can stop looking - you've found them! And the best part is, you will always be there for you , you'll never leave you, you'll always want sex when you do, and - your parents would probably even approve of your choice." ~ Barbara Carrellas

Practicing Ecstasy - In the Library!

2011-02-12T23:07:00.005-07:00

Diana and I hosted our first gathering of the Prescott Tantra Meetup Group today at the Prescott Public Library. After we discussed ancient and modern Tantra, breathed to our bellies, danced wildly and meditated silently, we danced again, just because we could. In the library!

What was abundantly clear to us all today was the simple "okay-ness" of our human sexuality, and it's connection to spirit, or the Divine, as Diana likes to call it. Ranging in age from 20-something to 70-something, our large group quickly broke out in laughter and giggles as we did the "pelvic walk", moved our aroused energy up to our hearts, and hushed to a prayerful stillness as we exchanged appreciations in the concluding Puja circle.

Amazing.

Thanks to all of you for showing up and BEING, and thank you to Peter and Lewis from the Prescott Healing Arts Association for sponsoring our event.

Our Tantric Meetup Group moves to it's permanent address at the Creekside Center in Prescott later this month. Watch this space for details, and join up (if you so desire) at the Prescott Tantra Meetup Group.

Namaste` dear hearts,
Glenn and Diana

"How can we hope to heal the planet, save the rain forests, establish peace among the nations and religions, when the universal symbol and activity of human love is poisoned in our individual minds? How can love flourish when our religions tell us sex is sinful, and that our flesh is the enemy of our spirit? The damage caused by the condemnation of sex, is incalculable: violence, rape, emotional afflictions, perhaps even war itself." ~ Margot Anand

"Sex lies at the root of life, and we can never learn reverence for life until we learn reverence for sex." ~ Havelock Ellis

Tantra 101

2010-12-04T22:27:00.003-07:00

A friend who reads this blog asked me today for some Tantra soundbites, something *simple*. "Okay", I said.

The worldly and the spiritual are not separate. In tantra, worldly enjoyments are not to be shunned. “What is here is everywhere. What is not here is nowhere.” (Vishvasara Tantra) As Alan Finger put it, “Every cell in your brain reflects a star in the cosmos.”
In Tantra, we practice approaching life (and love) with a relaxed body, an open heart, and a peaceful mind. As we become stable in states of arousal, we can weave this ecstasy into everyday life.
The underlying reality of existence is feminine (Shakti); this divine feminine force resides in our bodies at the base of the spine and is known as Kundalini. Tantric practices are designed to awaken this infinitely intelligent, creative, evolutionary energy.
We are all born with certain limitations. Through tantra, we engage in a process of transformation that, as I heard Gary Kraftsow once put it, “metabolizes dysfunction in body, mind, and speech.”
The body is a living shrine, and each chakra (energy center) a sacred temple. In other words, to access the Divine, investigate inside.

And lest we take this all too seriously, I find it helpful to remember that Tantra is about naked awareness: not something to believe in, but something to try out for yourself. As the Buddha used to say (so I'm told), "Come and see."

"Forget about sex. Just play first. Dance, sing, read to each other, breathe together - communicate. Don't count on sex to be the door to intimacy. It's the other way around: first develop intimacy skills. Then make love to enjoy them." - Margot Anand

Intimate Relationship as a Spiritual Crucible

2010-09-23T19:25:00.009-07:00

Diana and I came across this article a few years ago in the Shambala Sun magazine, and when we looked at it again tonight, we agreed it was every bit as fresh and relevant in light of the "new" economic turbulence affecting all our relationships.

By John Welwood

Living with someone we love, with all the joys and challenges, is one of the best ways to grow spiritually. But real awakening only happens, says renowned psychologist John Welwood, in the charnel ground where we acknowledge and work with our wounds, fears, and illusions.

While most people would like to have healthy, satisfying relationships in their lives, the truth is that everyone has a hard time with intimate partnerships. The poet Rilke understood just how challenging they could be when he penned his classic statement, “For one person to love another, this is the most difficult of all our tasks.”

Rilke isn’t suggesting it’s hard to love or to have loving-kindness. Rather, he is speaking about how hard it is to keep loving someone we live with, day by day, year after year. After numerous hardships and failures, many people have given up on intimate relationship, regarding the relational terrain as so fraught with romantic illusion and emotional hazards that it is no longer worth the energy.

Although modern relationships are particularly challenging, their very difficulty presents a special arena for personal and spiritual growth. To develop more conscious relationships requires becoming conversant with how three different dimensions of human existence play out within them: ego, person, and being.

Every close relationship involves these three levels of interaction that two partners cycle through—ego to ego, person to person, and being to being. While one moment two people may be connecting being to being in pure openness, the next moment their two egos may fall into deadly combat. When our partners treat us nicely, we open—“Ah, you’re so great.” But when they say or do something threatening, it’s "How did I wind up with you?" Since it can be terribly confusing or devastating when the love of our life suddenly turns into our deadliest enemy, it’s important to hold a larger vision that allows us to understand what is happening here.

Relationship as Alchemy

When we fall in love, this usually ushers in a special period, one with its own distinctive glow and magic. Glimpsing another person’s beauty and feeling, our heart opening in response provides a taste of absolute love, a pure blend of openness and warmth. This being-to-being connection reveals the pure gold at the heart of our nature, qualities like beauty, delight, awe, deep passion and kindness, generosity, tenderness, and joy.

Yet opening to another also flushes to the surface all kinds of conditioned patterns and obstacles that tend to shut this connection down: our deepest wounds, our grasping and desperation, our worst fears, our mistrust, our rawest emotional trigger points. As a relationship develops, we often find that we don’t have full access to the gold of our nature, for it remains embedded in the ore of our conditioned patterns. And so we continually fall from grace.

It’s important to recognize that all the emotional and psychological wounding we carry with us from the past is relational in nature: it has to do with not feeling fully loved. And it happened in our earliest relationships—with our caretakers—when our brain and body were totally soft and impressionable. As a result, the ego’s relational patterns largely developed as protection schemes to insulate us from the vulnerable openness that love entails. In relationship the ego acts as a survival mechanism for getting needs met while fending off the threat of being hurt, manipulated, controlled, rejected, or abandoned in ways we were as a child. This is normal and totally understandable. Yet if it’s the main tenor of a relationship, it keeps us locked in complex strategies of defensiveness and control that undermine the possibility of deeper connection.

Thus to gain greater access to the gold of our nature in relationship, a certain alchemy is required: the refining of our conditioned defensive patterns. The good news is that this alchemy generated between two people also furthers a larger alchemy within them. The opportunity here is to join and integrate the twin poles of human existence: heaven, the vast space of perfect, unconditional openness, and earth, our imperfect, limited human form, shaped by worldly causes and conditions. As the defensive/controlling ego cooks and melts down in the heat of love’s influence, a beautiful evolutionary development starts to emerge—the genuine person, who embodies a quality of very human relational presence that is transparent to open-hearted being, right in the midst of the dense confines of worldly conditioning.
Relationship as Charnel Ground

To clarify the workings of this alchemy, a more gritty metaphor is useful, one that comes from the tantric traditions of Buddhism and Hinduism: relationship as charnel ground. In many traditional Asian societies, the charnel ground was where people would bring dead bodies, to be eaten by vultures and jackals. From the tantric yogi’s perspective, this was an ideal place to practice, because it is right at the crossroads of life, where birth and death, fear and fearlessness, impermanence and awakening unfold right next to each other. Some things are dying and decaying, others are feeding and being fed, while others are being born out of the decay. The charnel ground is an ideal place to practice because it is right at the crossroads of life, where one cannot help but feel the rawness of human existence.

Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche described the charnel ground as "that great graveyard, in which the complexities of samsara and nirvana lie buried." Samsara is the conditioned mind that clouds our true nature, while nirvana is the direct seeing of this nature. As Trungpa Rinpoche describes this daunting crossroads in one of his early seminars:

It’s a place to die and be born, equally, at the same time, it’s simply our raw and rugged nature, the ground where we constantly puke and fall down, constantly make a mess. We are constantly dying, we are constantly giving birth. We are eating in the charnel ground, sitting in it, sleeping on it, having nightmares on it... Yet it does not try to hide its truth about reality. There are corpses lying all over the place, loose arms, loose hands, loose internal organs, and flowing hairs all over the place, jackals and vultures are roaming about, each one devising its own scheme for getting the best piece of flesh.

Many of us have a cartoon-like notion of relational bliss: that it should provide a steady state of security or solace that will save us from having to face the gritty, painful, difficult areas of life. We imagine that finding or marrying the right person will spare us from having to deal with such things as loneliness, disappointment, despair, terror, or disintegration. Yet anyone who has been married for a long time probably has some knowledge of the charnel ground quality of relationship—corpses all over the place, and jackals and vultures roaming about looking for the best piece of flesh. Trungpa Rinpoche suggests that if we can work with the "raw and rugged situation" of the charnel ground, "then some spark or sympathy or compassion, some giving in or opening can begin to take place. The chaos that takes place in your neurosis is the only home ground that you can build the mandala of awakening on." This last sentence is a powerful one, for it suggests that awakening happens only through facing the chaos of our neurotic patterns. Yet this is often the last thing we want to deal with in relationships.

Trungpa Rinpoche suggests that our neurosis is built on the fact that:

…large areas of our life have been devoted to trying to avoid discovering our own experience. Now [in the charnel ground, in our relationships] we have a chance to explore that large area which exists in our being, which we’ve been trying to avoid. That seems to be the first message, which may be very grim, but also very exciting. We’re not trying to get away from the charnel ground, we don’t want to build a Hilton hotel in the middle of it. Building the mandala of awakening actually happens on the charnel ground. What is happening on the charnel ground is constant personal exploration, and beyond that, just giving, opening, extending yourself completely to the situation that’s available to you. Being fantastically exposed, and the sense that you could give birth to another world.

This also describes the spiritual potential of intimate involvement with another human being.

Another quote with a similar feeling comes from Swami Rudrananda (known as Rudy, a German teacher who was a student of the Indian saint Swami Nityananda), further describing how to work with neurosis in this way:

Don't look for perfection in me. I want to acknowledge my own imperfection, I want to understand that that is part of the endlessness of my growth. It’s absolutely useless at this stage in your life, with all of the shit piled up in your closet, to walk around and try to kid yourself about your perfection. Out of the raw material you break down [here he is also speaking of the charnel ground] you grow and absorb the energy. You work yourself from inside out, tearing out, destroying, and finding a sense of nothingness. That nothingness allows God to come in. But this somethingness—ego and prejudices and limitations—is your raw material. If you process and refine it all, you can open consciously. Otherwise, you will never come to anything that represents yourself … The only thing that can create a oneness inside you is the ability to see more of yourself as you work every day to open deeper and say, fine, “I’m short-tempered,” or “Fine, I’m aggressive,” or, “Fine, I love to make money,” or, “I have no feeling for anybody else.” Once you recognize you’re all of these things, you’ll finally be able to take a breath and allow these things to open.
Rudy suggests that we have to acknowledge and embrace our imperfections as spiritual path; therefore grand spiritual pretensions miss the point. In his words, "A man who thinks he has a spiritual life is really an idiot." The same is true of relationships: beware of thinking you have a “spiritual relationship.” While loving connection provides a glimpse of the gold that lies within, we continually corrupt it by turning it into a commodity, a magical charm to make us feel okay. All the delusions of romantic love follow from there. Focusing on relationship as a spiritual or emotional “fix” actually destroys the possibility of finding deep joy, true ease, or honest connection with another.

Sooner or later relationship brings us to our knees, forcing us to confront the raw and rugged mess of our mental and emotional life. George Orwell points to this devastating quality of human love in a sentence that also has a charnel ground flavor to it: “The essence of being human is that one does not seek perfection, and that one is prepared, in the end, to be defeated, and broken up by life, which is the inevitable price of fastening one’s love upon other human individuals.”

This then is the meaning of the charnel ground: we have to be willing to come apart at the seams, to be dismantled, to let our old ego structures fall apart before we can begin to embody sparks of the essential perfection at the core of our nature. To evolve spiritually, we have to allow these unworked, hidden, messy parts of ourselves to come to the surface. It’s not that the strategic, controlling ego is something bad or some unnecessary, horrible mistake. Rather, it provides the indispensable grist that makes alchemical transformation possible.

Rudy suggests that we have to acknowledge and embrace our imperfections as spiritual path; therefore grand spiritual pretensions miss the point. In his words, "A man who thinks he has a spiritual life is really an idiot." The same is true of relationships: beware of thinking you have a “spiritual relationship.” While loving connection provides a glimpse of the gold that lies within, we continually corrupt it by turning it into a commodity, a magical charm to make us feel okay. All the delusions of romantic love follow from there. Focusing on relationship as a spiritual or emotional “fix” actually destroys the possibility of finding deep joy, true ease, or honest connection with another.

Sooner or later relationship brings us to our knees, forcing us to confront the raw and rugged mess of our mental and emotional life. George Orwell points to this devastating quality of human love in a sentence that also has a charnel ground flavor to it: “The essence of being human is that one does not seek perfection, and that one is prepared, in the end, to be defeated, and broken up by life, which is the inevitable price of fastening one’s love upon other human individuals.”

This then is the meaning of the charnel ground: we have to be willing to come apart at the seams, to be dismantled, to let our old ego structures fall apart before we can begin to embody sparks of the essential perfection at the core of our nature. To evolve spiritually, we have to allow these unworked, hidden, messy parts of ourselves to come to the surface. It’s not that the strategic, controlling ego is something bad or some unnecessary, horrible mistake. Rather, it provides the indispensable grist that makes alchemical transformation possible.

This is not a pessimistic view, because some kind of breakdown is usually necessary before any significant breakthrough into new ways of living not so encumbered by past conditioning. Charnel ground, then, is a metaphor for this breakdown/breakthrough process that is an essential part of human growth and evolution, and one of the gifts of a deep, intimate connection is that it naturally sets this process in motion. Yet no one wants to be dismantled. So there are two main ways that people try to abort this process: running away and spiritual bypassing.

The problem with running away when a relationship becomes difficult is that we are also turning away from ourselves and our potential breakthroughs. Fleeing the raw, wounded places in ourselves because we don't think we can handle them is a form of self-rejection and self-abandonment that turns our feeling body into an abandoned, haunted house. The more we flee our shadowy places, the more they fester in the dark and the more haunted this house becomes. And the more haunted it becomes, the more it terrifies us. This is a vicious circle that keeps us cut off from and afraid of ourselves.

One of the scariest places we encounter in relationship is a deep inner sense of unlove, where we don’t know that we’re truly lovable just for being who we are, where we feel deficient and don’t know our value. This is the raw wound of the heart, where we’re disconnected from our true nature, our inner perfection. Naturally we want to do everything we can to avoid this place, fix it, or neutralize it, so we’ll never have to experience such pain again.

A second way to flee from the challenges of relationship is through spiritual bypassing—using spiritual ideas or practices to avoid or prematurely transcend relative human needs, feelings, personal issues, and developmental tasks. For example, a certain segment of the contemporary spiritual scene has become infected with a facile brand of “advaita-speak,” a one-sided transcendentalism that uses nondual terms and ideas to bypass the challenging work of personal transformation.

Advaita-speak can be very tricky, for it uses absolute truth to disparage relative truth, emptiness to devalue form, and oneness to belittle individuality. The following quotes from two popular contemporary teachers illustrate this tendency: “Know that what appears to be love for another is really love of Self, because other doesn’t exist,” and “The other’s ‘otherness’ stands revealed as an illusion pertaining to the purely human realm, the realm of form.” Notice the devaluation of form and the human realm in the latter statement. By suggesting that only absolute love or being-to-being union is real, these teachers equate the person-to-person element necessary for a transformative love bond with mere ego or illusion.

Yet personal intimacy is a spark flashing out across the divide between self and other. It depends on strong individuals making warm, personal contact, mutually sparking and enriching each other with complementary qualities and energies. This is the meeting of I and Thou, which Martin Buber understood not as an impersonal spiritual union but as a personal communion rooted in deep appreciation of the other’s otherness.

A deep, intimate connection inevitably brings up all our love wounds from the past. This is why many spiritual practitioners try to remain above the fray and impersonal in their relationships—so as not to face and deal with their own unhealed relational wounds. But this keeps the wounding unconscious, causing it to emerge as compulsive shadowy behavior or to dry up passion and juice. Intimate personal connecting cannot evolve unless the old love wounds that block it are faced, acknowledged, and freed up.

As wonderful as moments of being-to-being union can be, the alchemical play of joining heaven and earth in a relationship involves a more subtle and beautiful dance: not losing our twoness in the oneness, while not losing our oneness in the twoness. Personal intimacy evolves out of the dancing-ground of dualities: personal and trans-personal, known and unknown, death and birth, openness and karmic limitation, clarity and chaos, hellish clashes and heavenly bliss. The clash and interplay of these polarities, with all its shocks and surprises, provides a ferment that allows for deep transformation through forcing us to keep waking up, dropping preconceptions, expanding our sense of who we are, and learning to work with all the different elements of our humanity.

When we’re in the midst of this ferment, it may seem like some kind of fiendish plot. We finally find someone we really love and then the most difficult things start emerging: fear, distrust, unlove, disillusion, resentment, blame, confusion. Yet this is a form of love’s grace—that it brings our wounds and defenses forward into the light. For love can only heal what presents itself to be healed. If our woundedness remains hidden, it cannot be healed; the best in us cannot come out unless the worst comes out as well.

So instead of constructing a fancy hotel in the charnel ground, we must be willing to come down and relate to the mess on the ground. We need to regard the wounded heart as a place of spiritual practice. This kind of practice means engaging with our relational fears and vulnerabilities in a deliberate, conscious way, like the yogis of old who faced down the goblins and demons of the charnel grounds.

The only way to be free of our conditioned patterns is through a full, conscious experience of them. This might be called “ripening our karma,” what the Indian teacher Swami Prajnanpad described as bhoga, meaning “deliberate, conscious experience.” He said, “You can only dissolve karma through the bhoga of this karma.” We become free of what we’re stuck in only through meeting and experiencing it directly. Having the bhoga of your karma allows you to digest unresolved, undigested elements of your emotional experience from the past that are still affecting you: how you were hurt or overwhelmed, how you defended yourself against that by shutting down, how you constructed walls to keep people out.

Another term for directly engaging our karma might be “conscious suffering.” This involves saying “yes” to our pain, opening ourselves to it, as it is. This kind of yes doesn’t mean, “I like it, I’m glad it’s like this.” It just means, “Yes, this is what’s happening.” Whatever comes up, you are willing to meet it and have a direct experience of it. For example, if you’re hard-hearted, you have a full experience of that. Then you see how acknowledging this affects you and what comes from doing that.

Bhoga involves learning to ride the waves of our feelings rather than becoming submerged in them. This requires mindfulness of where we are in the cycle of emotional experience. A skilled surfer is aware of exactly where he is on a wave, whereas an unskilled surfer winds up getting creamed. By their very nature, waves are rising fifty percent of the time and falling the other fifty percent. Instead of fighting the down cycles of our emotional life, we need to learn to keep our seat on the surfboard and have a full, conscious experience of going down. Especially in a culture that is addicted to “up,” we especially need our “yes” when the down cycles unfold—to be willing to fall apart, retreat, slow down, be patient, let go. For it’s often at the bottom of a down cycle, when everything looks totally bleak and miserable, that we finally receive a flash of insight that lets us see the hidden contours of some huge ego fixation in which we’ve been stuck all our life. Having a full, conscious experience of the down cycle as it’s occurring, instead of fighting or transcending it, lets us be available for these moments of illumination.
While the highlands of absolute love are most beautiful, few but the saints can spend all their time there. Relative human love is not a peak experience nor a steady state. It wavers, fluctuates, waxes and wanes, changes shape and intensity, soars and crashes. “This is the exalted melancholy of our fate,” writes Buber, describing how moments of I/Thou communion cannot last too very long. Yet though relationships participate fully in the law of impermanence, the good news is that this allows new surprises and revelations to keep arising endlessly.

Relationship as Koan

Relating to the full spectrum of our experience in the relational charnel ground leads to a self-acceptance that expands our capacity to embrace and accept others as well. Usually our view of our partners is colored by what they do for us—how they make us look or feel good, or not—and shaped by our internal movie about what we want them to be. This of course makes it hard to see them for who they are in their own right.

Beyond our movie of the other is a much larger field of personal and spiritual possibilities, what Walt Whitman referred to when he said, “I contain multitudes.” These “multitudes” are what keep a relationship fresh and interesting, but they can only do that if we can accept the ways that those we love are different from us—in their background, values, perspectives, qualities, sensitivities, preferences, ways of doing things, and, finally, their destiny. In the words of Swami Prajnanpad, standing advaita-speak on its head: “To see fully that the other is not you is the way to realizing oneness … Nothing is separate, everything is different … Love is the appreciation of difference."

Two partners not holding themselves separate, while remaining totally distinct—“not two, not one”—may seem like an impossible challenge in a relationship. Bernard Phillips, an early student of East/West psychology, likens this impossibility of relationship to a Zen koan, a riddle that cannot be solved with the conceptual mind. After continually trying and failing to figure out the answer, Zen students arrive at a genuine solution only in the moment of finally giving up and giving in. In Phillips’ words:

Every human being with whom we seek relatedness is a koan, that is to say, an impossibility. There is no formula for getting along with a human being. No technique will achieve relatedness. I am impossible to get along with; so is each one of you; all our friends are impossible; the members of our families are impossible. How then shall we get along with them? … If you are seeking a real encounter, then you must confront the koan represented by the other person. The koan is an invitation to enter into reality.

In the end, to love another requires dropping all our narcissistic agendas, movies, hopes, and fears, so that we may look freshly and see “the raw other, the sacred other,” just as he or she is. This involves a surrender, or perhaps defeat, as in George Orwell’s words about being “defeated and broken up by life.” What is defeated here, of course, is the ego and its strategies, clearing the way for the genuine person to emerge, the person who is capable of real, full-spectrum contact. The nobility of this kind of defeat is portrayed by Rilke in four powerful lines describing Jacob’s wrestling match with the angel:

Winning does not tempt that man
For this is how he grows:
By being defeated, decisively,
By constantly greater beings.

In relationship, it is two partners’ greater beings, gradually freeing themselves from the prison of conditioned patterns, that bring about this decisive defeat. And as this starts reverberating through their relationship, old expectations finally give way, old movies stop running, and a much larger acceptance than they believed possible can start opening up between them. As they become willing to face and embrace whatever stands between them—old relational wounds from the past, personal pathologies, difficulties hearing and understanding each other, different values and sensitivities—all in the name of loving and letting be, they are invited to “enter into reality.” Then it becomes possible to start encountering each other nakedly, in the open field of nowness, fresh and unfabricated, the field of love forever vibrating with unimagined possibilities.

This essay is adapted from a talk given at the California Institute of Integral Studies in San Francisco. Copyright 2008 by John Welwood. All rights reserved.

John Welwood, Ph.D. is a psychotherapist who has been a student of Tibetan Buddhism for more than thirty-five years. Although not explicitly autobiographical, this article traces his journey through his twenty-year marriage. His books include Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships: Healing the Wound of the Heart.
Intimate Relationship as a Spiritual Crucible, John Welwood, Shambhala Sun, November 2008.

To order this copy of the Shambhala Sun, click here.

To order a trial subscription to Shambhala Sun, click here.

NEW DATE FOR TUCSON PLAYSHOP!!

2010-01-14T17:25:00.014-07:00

Divine Juiciness Playshop

Tucson, April 11, 2010

“The concepts of male and female are not forever divided by a gender gap; they can be viewed as two polarities that meet and merge in every human being. Man or woman, we have both masculine and feminine qualities. Honoring this polarity opens us to a sense of the sacred.” - Margot Anand

Join us as we work, play and explore what it means to be male or female in our society. With special communication exercises, movement and HUMOR, we’ll share our struggles and joys, and discover what we need to move fully into our passion and power as individual men and women.

We’ll devote the morning to separate men and women’s circles, with a co-ed afternoon session to share our transformations and actually celebrate together!

Men will shift from the common “get-her-done” approach to relationship, to a relaxed and open trust in their ability to love. They will also discover and feel that this is their greatest strength and value as men!

Women will have the opportunity to bathe in the feminine power of their sensual nature and affirm their wholeness. As they deepen their potential to love and trust their own hearts, they will realize the power they have to witness and evoke the true love-essence of their partners.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Caritas Healing Center, 330 E. 16th St. Tucson AZ

9:30am – 5:30pm

$35 in advance, $50 at the door

(Special Relationship Puja - an interactive meditation of blessing and appreciation)

Join us and celebrate the union of the masculine and feminine in yourself and in all your relationships!

~ A SKY-DANCING TANTRA EVENT ~

Sky-Dancing Tantra: Celebrating the Heart of Sexuality

2010-01-13T17:51:00.012-07:00

(upcoming classes - watch this space for further details!)
The way is not in the sky. The way is in the heart.
-Buddha

By acknowledging our sexual energy as part and parcel of the very Energy of life, Sky-Dancing Tantra is a path with heart that calls us to love not just our partners, but ourselves as well… all of ourselves. My own coming into acceptance and celebration of this fact has been the most challenging, life-affirming and love-positive practice I've ever engaged in. And one of the main things I’m continually learning in the process is the primacy of the heart, and the need to FLOW.

When we practice opening to our feelings, we quickly become aware that we carry a lot of feelings that don’t feel so “good”. For many of us, our sexual history is a minefield of hurts and humiliations that we’d sooner forget than feel. Intimacy (“into me see”) with a partner requires, first and foremost, that we come to peace with our own physical and emotional life. To expect our partner to make us feel good under all conditions is a time-proven formula for failure.

And yet, we have the opportunity with our beloved to free up the flow of feelings and hurts and discover our open, natural state of “what is”. As Margot Anand says, "Hiding gives strength to negative feelings; sharing in an atmosphere of sincerity and trust dissipates their power. Moreover, when you connect with a partner who is truthfully expressing deep feelings, more energy becomes available as a bond of authenticity develops between you." The Art of Sexual Ecstasy, p. 83

As Diana and I prepare our classes and workshops for this February in Tucson and Prescott Arizona, we are especially excited to share with you the simple but profound practice of essence - of living from the heart. How is it, exactly, that we can only find ourselves when we lose ourselves? Is it really possible to cease defending who we think we are, and just what does that look like, anyway? And what does any of this have to do with sexuality?

Yes, there is deep breathing involved...

If you're in the Tucson area, mark your calendars for January 23rd and 24th for our "Divine Juiciness" weekend, a chance to discover and work with (ie, play with) the basic tools of intimate communication.

We'll be in Prescott for the Valentine's weekend, speaking our Hearts, and invite you to join us, wherever you may live.

Details later this week!

Namaste y'all!

The Four Keys of Sacred Ecstasy

2009-06-05T09:42:00.013-07:00

(click on poster above for larger view)

Diana and I are really looking forward to presenting this series of 2-3 hour "mini-workshops" among the splendor of world-renowned Mii amo Spa at Enchantment Resort in Sedona, Arizona. For those of you able to join us, it will be a fabulous opportunity to participate in a daily class, and have plenty of time to do your "homework" in one of the most spectacular settings on earth!

Using breath and presence, movement and sound, you will deepen into your natural capacity for open-heartedness and self-acceptance. With exercises that you can easily learn and practice on your own (or with a partner), you will gently wake up the sacred energy of ecstasy that is the very Spirit of your body.

And have outrageous fun doing so!

***THIS IS A SKY-DANCING TANTRA EVENT***

Mii amo Spa HOMEPAGE
Registration: Mii amo, a destination spa at Enchantment, 525 Boynton Canyon Road, Sedona, AZ 86336. 888.749.2137 www.miiamo.com
Reviews HERE

OPEN TO INDIVIDUALS AND COUPLES!!
(we do programs for singles from time to time also... see HERE)

Namaste!
Glenn and Diana

Flier (suitable for framing!) HERE

Thursday, July 23rd
5:00 – 8:00 pm (Library / Café)
Orientation, Dinner and Retreat Overview

Friday, July 24th
1:00 – 3:00 pm (Library)
Introduction
You will learn simple practices that cultivate deep spiritual Presence in all your relationships. Discover how every person (including yourself!) is a potential Beloved to whom you can connect with love and kindness.

Saturday, July 25th
10:00 am – Noon (Library)
Your Body is Alive and Free!
Learn about the energy centers of your body (chakras), and how to activate and stimulate the healthy flow of Life Force (or Chi, Prana, etc). Remove “blocks”, and feel re-vitalized. Prepare to be amazed at the beauty and perfection of your body!

2:00 – 4:00 pm (Library)
The Heart Aroused
Practice opening your heart with honesty, humor and passion. Intimate knowing of oneself is exciting and enlivens all your relationships!

Sunday, July 26th
9:00 – 10:30 am (Library / Café)
Closing Ceremonies
Integrate the skills you’ve learned and see how you can practice them in everyday life. Breakfast is served at the Café immediately after the session. Share with others (your experience, that is!)

Creating Sacred Space

2009-02-27T08:52:00.032-07:00

When People participate in ceremony, they enter a sacred space,

Everything outside of that space fades in importance.
Time takes on a different dimension,
Emotions flow more freely,
The bodies of participants become filled with the energy of life,
And this energy reaches out and blesses the creation around them.
All is made new
Everything becomes sacred.
- Sun Bear

"Creating Sacred Space"... I can hear the eyeballs rolling already! Men, stay with me.

If you're reading this blog, I'm assuming you're interested in Sky-Dancing Tantra for improving your love life, or health in general, maybe even deepening your spiritual practice. Or all of the above. The trick is, as I'm sure you already know, you can't get there from here. Unless you're actually "here". The profundity of the Present , as fully realized in a moment of mind-blowing sex or deep meditation, is not a goal to be attained. As Leonard Cohen so eloquently sings, "love is not some victory march." And, as Westerners, we have to be especially creative if we wish to phase out this never-ending cycle of much ado about nothing.

Enter the keyword "sacred".

Derived from the Latin sacrum, or "holy" (wholeness), and sanctum "set apart", we have here the perfect alternative to picking ourselves up by the bootstraps. And all we have to do is set some time apart (30 seconds), and declare our "wholeness" (another couple of minutes).

As a former eyeball-rolling male, I can attest to my initial reluctance to take on this moment apart in the bedroom. At first, I simply went through the motions robotically, not expecting much. What very quickly became obvious to me, however, was the calming effect this little ritual had on me - it completely interrupted my program of "do this/now this/now this" - and relieved me of tensions and expectations I was bringing to my lovemaking that I hadn't even been aware of. Over time, it has brought a tremendous amount of sweetness and clarity to my relationship with Diana. And energy - did I mention energy? More on this later.

Creating sacred space can actually be quite elaborate, involving cleaning and preparing your room, sharing a bath, preparing special foods... it could take a fair amount of time. This was what Sting so infamously remarked upon several years ago when a reporter asked him about his Tantra practice and he boasted of seven-hour lovemaking sessions.

(context, you have to put it all in context)

For our present purposes, I will focus on two simple rituals you can share with your loved one that epitomize the creation of sacred space and can be practiced immediately. I refer you to the many resources that are available for sacred space creation on the web and in Margot Anand's comprehensive books.

The Beloved's Mirror (or Heart Salutation)

Used at the beginning of your date night, or when you notice things are "getting going", the Beloved's Mirror is a powerful expression of gratitude and honor that allows you and your Beloved to bow to each other in a space set apart from the "usual". Exchanging the Sanskrit greeting Namaste, which means "I honor the Spirit in you which is also in me", we not only re-cognize the divinity in our Beloved, we also acknowledge our own divinity. Another explanation of Namaste I like comes from spiritual guide Ram Dass: "When you are in that place in you, and I am in that place in me, there is only One of us."

Sit facing your partner for a minute, gazing gently at each other
Allow your exhalations to be full; inhalations can happen automatically
Bring the palms of your hands together, fingers pointing down. EXHALE.
INHALE as you lift your hands to your heart
EXHALE as you bend forward gently to touch your partner's forehead
Exchange the word NAMASTE
Take in the full sense of honor and reverence of this gesture - for you and your partner
INHALE as you lean back gently, keeping your hands folded against your chest
EXHALE and lower your hands to the earth, hands still together, fingers pointing down

some tips:

Your eyes can be opened or closed... if open, maintain your connection with your partner; if closed, open your eyes upon completion of the last exhalation. Diana and I usually teach keeping the eyes open.
"Namaste" can be expressed during the leaning forward exhalation, or at the end. We like it as our foreheads touch.
You may wish to add a short statement such as, [Your partner's name], I honor you as an aspect of myself or the Beloved in me bows to the Beloved in you
The Beloved's Mirror is also particularly moving as a closing ceremony following lovemaking, however glorious or ordinary your occasion was. Just sit up take a breath to center yourselves and bow to the miracle of two people sharing Energy and Life!

The Lover's Bubble

Now that you know Who you are and Who you're with, you can make your mutual space whole or Holy. One of you can begin by stating what you are letting go of, or "tossing out" of your Lover's Bubble. It might be the tension of the rush-hour traffic you were just in, or the memory of a difficult co-worker that morning, perhaps even the anxiety you are feeling due to your expectations in the moment, of "wanting to do it right".

Simply say, I am letting go of expectations/anxieties/anger from this morning. Then let your partner take a turn, and go back and forth, listening to yourself as well as your partner. Notice how exposing and naming your fears in the safe place of trust you just created in The Beloved's Mirror renders them harmless. As Margot says, "Hiding gives strength to negative feelings; sharing in an atmosphere of sincerity and trust dissipates their power. Moreover, when you connect with a partner who is truthfully expressing deep feelings, more energy becomes available as a bond of authenticity develops between you." The Art of Sexual Ecstasy, p. 83

When it feels right, when you begin to run out of negative charge, switch to calling in those energies or qualities you wish to embody or connect with in your sacred space together.
I bring in peace
I bring in acceptance
I welcome humor and silliness
I bring in gratitude

The creation of sacred space is a gift to yourself, your partner, and your Relationship that can add deep joy and ecstasy to your love life and beyond.

May the sacred energy of your loving bless all of your relations!

Namaste!

The Daily Candle Ritual

2009-02-20T13:38:00.010-07:00

This is a simple but sacred way to connect with your
partner every day. The Daily Candle Ritual is
nourishment for the soul of your relationship.

The ritual takes only a minute and should be done
every day whether you feel like it or not,
especially if you don't feel like it.  Over time, it
becomes a point of safety and connection in the
relationship.  At first, it may seem that the ritual is
too simple to be meaningful.

Trust that it is not too simple.

Do the ritual exactly as described without making
any changes.  One of the values of the ritual is
that it is reliably the same every time.  It speaks
to our bodies, not our minds.  It talks to us in
ways our minds do not understand.


THE RITUAL

sit facing each other
light the candle
exchange ritual statements
blow out the candle
get up and leave

THE GROUND RULES

one person is the host for the ritual each day
men host odd days
women host even days

THE HOST

ensures the ritual happens on his/her day
lights and blows out the candle
says the ritual statement first
ensures that the ritual is terminated without further discussion

THE COUPLE AGREES

where the ritual will occur (the same place every day is best)
to use the candle for the ritual only


THE RITUAL STATEMENTS

Man to Partner:    "I Care About You"
Woman responds:  "I Heard You Say, You Care About Me"

Woman to Partner:  "I Appreciate You"
Man responds:          "I Heard You Say, You Appreciate Me"

Thanks! Blessed Be! Aloha! Viva!

2009-02-19T21:55:00.003-07:00

Diana and I shared a personal peak experience this past weekend as we presented our annual Valentine's workshop/playshop, "The Heart Aroused", in Scottsdale Arizona. We extend our heartfelt thanks and kudos to all our beautiful participants who worked and played so hard, stayed true to their own hearts, and taught the two of us so much about how the heart changes everything when it's open. We offer special thanks to our gracious host Ben, and our all-round go-to guy, Warren!

Whether it was the uncanny synchronicity of a rare astrological alignment (see HERE) coinciding with the day we all dedicate to the patron saint of Love, or the whispered scent of the first wild flowers on the wind, our circle was one of extraordinary energy, trust and surrender. At every step, individuals and couples pressed beyond concerns and agendas, and demonstrated a vulnerability we've never experienced in such a new group. The meditations were deep. The process sharings were soul-stirring. And the dancing raised the roof! Did I mention the feast?

After exclaiming about it to each other all week, Diana and I agree that our program fulfilled our original intention of sharing how Sky-Dancing Tantra teaches (in the words of Margot Anand), "the difference between falling in love, and rising in love... a state of deep clarity and conscious bliss".

Once again, deepest blessings to all, and to all of you reading along!

Namaste'ShalomAloha,
Diana and Glenn

A Valentine's Day Playshop!The Heart Aroused - A Gift of Love

2009-01-21T21:06:00.061-07:00

~~~~ A Sky-Dancing Event In the Phoenix Area!~~~~

"Don't count on sex to be the door to intimacy. It's the other way around; first develop intimacy skills, then make love to enjoy them."
Margot Anand

The Heart Aroused:

A Valentine's Gift of Love

Scottsdale, Arizona
February 13-14, 2009

Friday 7-9:30pm, Saturday 9:30am-9:30pm

Make this year's Valentine's Day one to remember forever as you nurture and recreate yourself in a sumptuous day-long playshop of healing and celebration. With meditation and movement, sacred ritual and a sensual evening feast, you will be able to feel for yourself the beauty of your own Heart. As we share with you the four basic secrets of tantric ecstasy, you will realize a deeper knowing and loving of yourself, learn how to be a fantastic lover, and create what you want in your life and in all your relationships!

This engaging workshop is for singles and couples alike, ages 18 to 80. Whether you come by yourself or with a partner, you will find Sky-Dancing Tantra to be an enlivening and nourishing experience. You'll discover the amazing shift of meeting your partner and other new friends on a level of intimate trust and understanding. And you will take home practices that you can develop and build on to cultivate a lifetime of ecstasy, radiant health and connection with Spirit.

Realize and accept your heart's natural perfection
Rediscover and feel how sexual energy is the physical expression of your higher consciousness
Develop trust in your love life
Allow our specially crafted "deep heart" music to heal and awaken your playful and innocent self
Invite spirit and soul back into sex so that the physical and spiritual aspects of your nature become one.

Free Evening Introduction!
Friday, Feb 13, 7-9:30pm
"How to Make Love With Your
Wild, Wide Open Heart"
Vision Quest Book Store (link)
480-949-1888
2225 N. Scottsdale Rd,
Scottsdale, AZ (map link HERE)

Call for Saturday's Scottsdale Location and Directions!
Saturday, Feb 14, 9:30 am-9:30 pm
"The Heart Aroused"
Diana at 928-445-7501, Glenn at 507-649-2488

*BOTH EVENTS ARE OPEN TO COUPLES AND INDIVIDUALS*

YOUR CO-FACILITATORS:
Diana Owens LCSW, CST, is a licensed clinical
social worker, certified sex therapist, and a
Certified Sky Dancing Tantra Teacher.
Glenn Bourdot is a writer/musician and trained
Mankind Project facilitator with 30 years
experience in Re-Evaluation Counseling.
Diana & Glenn are life partners, committed to
co-creating a spirit-filled, loving, and peaceful world.

Cost: $135 per person, $210 for couples
(lunch, dinner and snacks included!)

EARLY BIRD SPECIAL!
$105 person, $185 couple

BEFORE FEBRUARY 6th

To register:
go to www.lovingway.net (link)
and click on “What's New”, "To Register"
or call Diana at 928-445-7501, Glenn at 507-649-2488

**********

“Sky-Dancing Tantra teaches that in the heart, we learn the difference between falling in love, a biological narcotic rush, and rising in love, a state of deep clarity and conscious bliss.” -Margot Anand

Bonding Ritual for Couples

2008-06-12T21:19:00.015-07:00

Many teachers of Tantra teach a form of this bonding exercise for couples. We thank Kerry and Diane Riley for this version, and refer you to their excellent book, Tantric Secrets for Men.

When talking is NOT working for the two of you, it's a good time to remember your relationship instead, and physically connect your bodies. It's important that you and your partner will have made a prior agreement to engage this exercise in times of conflict. It will ground you in your sexual passion and enliven the loving bond in your relationship. So, when one asks the other, even though you are so "out-of-there", you will instead say “yes”. It is not based on whether you want to, or feel like it, it is based on a decision you have made to honor your relationship no matter what – to keep the sexual passion and spiritual bond of loving between you alive.

Refusing to honor this agreement threatens the very issue of trust in your relationship. Your partner has trusted you enough to drop the argument and ask for harmony. This is affirming that your relationship is more important than ego, more important than being right in this particular issue.

Suppose it is you who lets go first. You could say, “This is not getting us anywhere. I want to be in harmony with you. I want to do the Bonding Ritual. We can discuss this later when we are not so upset. Let’s put our bodies together.” The steps in the Bonding Ritual are as follows:

Step 1:

Take up the Nurturing Position:

You (the requesting partner in this case) lie on your back while your partner lies besides you and rests her head on your chest. Place your right arm around her in a nurturing manner. She places her right hand on your heart chakra and you put your left hand on top of hers. Bend your right knee and place it between her legs, touching her sexual center. Her right leg is bent over yours so her knee touches your genital area.

This connects your heart center (open to give and receive love again), with your sexual center, opening you to vulnerability and intimacy again. For her, being held in the nurturing position tends to open her heart center again and by touching her sexual center with your leg, reverses her normal reactive behavior to withdraw and close down sexually to you in times of conflict.

Step 2:

Use the breath to let go of any tension. If you are very upset you will find that you will be tensing your body and holding your breath, or you will feel your partner doing this. Breathe in with a long, deep breath through the nose and then sigh as you breathe out through the mouth –ahh! Repeat this at least 10 times, co-ordinating your breaths if you can; otherwise make sure you are both doing the deep breathing. Never allow just one of you to be doing it; both must participate.

As you breathe out, let go of any anger, resentments, or the need to be right. Release all tension in the body, especially in the jaw, neck and shoulders. As you continue with the breathing, allow your mind to become quiet, allow the inner chatter about the argument to be dismissed. Take your awareness instead to the contact points between your physical bodies, especially your opening heart, and feel love, compassion, caring and forgiveness. Feel the warmth of your partner’s hand on your heart center. Focus on nurturing your partner like a child who has been hurt. Focus on that part of her that you really love beyond the part that has upset you.

Partner B ( your lover in this case), focuses on being nurtured and cared for and then shifts her attention to her hand on your heart, healing it and opening you more to love again. If it feels appropriate she can gently move her hand from your heart center to your sexual center, gently cupping this area for a few minutes, while you keep your hand on your heart center. This allows harmony between the emotions and physical sexuality to develop once more. You now exchange roles with your partner, gently repositioning before beginning. You need to spend at least five minutes in each role for it to be effective.

Step 3:

Both turn and face each other and hold each other naturally without your hands holding the heart or sexual chakras. Continue to breathe and let go, but do not say anything. Gaze gently into each other’s eyes with love and compassion while tuning into your own “higher self”, where having to be right or having to win the argument is not important. What is important is to keep eye contact and be soft, vulnerable and see the part of your beloved that wants to be loved and wants to love. Act as healers for each other, showing compassion, care and concern for your relationship.

Keep breathing gently and after a minute or so and when appropriate, one says “I’m sorry (we were fighting). I love you”. The other listens, breaths in and internally accepts this. Then she says “I’m sorry too and I love you.” Finish with a hug or a kiss.

It is most important not to say anything like” I forgive you, but next time...” This would blow the whole process. You may as well not have done it in the first place. Do not talk about the issue, just hug and kiss and suggest a cup of tea or a walk. Maybe several hours later or the next day you can return and deal with the issue. Dealing with it immediately after the Bonding Ritual is dangerous because you are very open and sensitive when you have trusted enough to say “sorry”.

After you have completed this process, you may not even need to discuss the issue again because you will find that the re-established harmony and balance may well provide a new viewpoint or attitude. If you do discuss it, you may come up with other solutions to the problem which you may not have reached while in a reactive mode.

In reality, neither of you are perfect. You both contributed to the disharmony in some way. By looking within and forgiving and by balancing the energies between you, very often circumstances begin to change.

The Power of Surrender

What you are doing in these three steps is surrendering your ego and honoring your true feelings to keep the sexual passion and loving bond between you alive. Surrender is not compromise. Surrender is letting go totally and giving over to a truth higher than yourself. In this case, the bonding of your relationship becomes the highest truth, not you winning the argument or allowing your beloved wants and needs to be more important than your own. It is important to honor your truth, your needs and wants. Surrendering is a powerful thing to do. Once the energy is balanced it is more likely that a solution will be found to whatever caused the disharmony in the first place.

Relationship as Spiritual Path

2008-05-03T11:36:00.035-07:00

Weaving Together Spirit, Love, and Sexuality
In Your Relationship (and Everyday Life!)

This is how love ripens us -- by warming us from within, inspiring us to break out of our shell, and lighting our way through the dark passage to new birth.
-- John Welwood

Relationship As Spiritual Path

Clarkdale, Arizona
June 6th-8th, 2008

Friday 7-10pm, Saturday 10am-9:30pm, Sunday 9:30am-noon

In previous generations, our ancestors could explore the deeper mysteries of life and spirit in the seclusion of hermitage or monastery. Many societies accommodated the spiritual seeker with built-in structures of church and community, and throughout Asia it was a respected practice for an elder who had completed householder duties to withdraw from the tribe and wander in the wilderness in "earnest quest".

We moderns do not have it so easy. Not only have the old ways become irrelevant in our fast-paced pursuit of individual freedoms, there simply are no more caves left to retreat to! Ours is a landscape of edges and fences, where every woman and man is left to figure out the Great Matter for themselves, a proposition that would have struck our ancestors as the greatest of follies.

And in this new wilderness of "anything goes", men and women come together in their relationships, face to face with all their gods and demons. What to do?

Join us for this timely and magical weekend of re-uniting with Spirit, as we mutually create a safe haven of trust, and explore opening to being together with our partners, instead of merely being together. Using breath and meditation, movement and sound , you will deepen into your unique capacity for open-heartedness and acceptance. With exercises that you can easily learn and practice on your own (and with your partner!), we will gently wake up the Sacred Energy of Life, including sexuality, and practice the amazing opportunity for wholeness and intimacy that relationship offers. This will be a loose-fitting, fully-clothed event.

Foster a positive, exciting and ecstatic adventure with your beloved partner

Awaken your senses, transform old patterns, heal sexual and emotional wounds, and discover how to transform negative feelings to empower your relationship

Enhance your sensuality,sexuality, intimacy and love

Nurture yourself in a peaceful retreat setting in the picturesque canyons and mountains of Clarkdale (one hour from Prescott, twenty minutes from Sedona)

Recapture the "Honeymoon Glow" and keep it alive for a lifetime of loving

Early Bird Special -
$275 per couple!

(Until May 23, $300 afterwards.
Registration closed May 30)
Easy on-line registration HERE

Glenn Bourdot and Diana Owens, Prescott AZ, February 2008

Diana is a licensed clinical social worker, certified sex therapist, relationship coach, trained yoga teacher and certified Sky-Dancing Tantra teacher. Glenn is a musician, writer, and trained Mankind Project facilitator with over 30 years experience in Re-Evaluation Counseling. He is also a Sky-Dancing teacher-in-training. Diana and Glenn are life partners, committed to co-creating a joyful and peaceful world, and dedicated to realizing that
this very moment is their Heart's desire.
And yours.

TO REGISTER: go to www.lovingway.net
or call Diana at 928-445-7501 (lovingwaydiana@gmail.com)
or Glenn at 507-649-2488 (gbardo@yahoo.com)

Easy on-line registration HERE

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The meaning of sexuality is our capacity to love fully...Our sexual energy heightens our ability to express ourselves fully and lovingly moment to moment and to unite with another. We all have this capacity and can live intimately every moment through this process. As we do this, we start identifying the blocks to our loving, wounds we have that influence us to close down or numb out. This becomes a spiritual path where we have the opportunity again and again to choose to continue to open up and love. This is the heightening of consciousness which is what spirituality is.

Diana Owens, Soulful Sex, Weaving Sex, Love & Spirit into Everyday Life, p. 79

http://www.lovingway.net

Relationship is a very advanced practice and not for the faint of heart. It’s one thing to practice compassion or loving kindness sitting alone on your meditation cushion. It’s quite another to keep your heart open in the face of conflict or dissatisfaction with your loved one. In the fire of relationship, we are challenged to actually put into practice all the great spiritual teachings. We must learn compassion for ourselves and for the other. We must learn forgiveness. We must loosen our own attachments to how we think life should be. We must learn to release one another from fixed opinions, surrender judgment and come ready to meet each moment fresh – without the baggage of history, blame and hurt.
http://sacredunion.com/site/?page_id=110

My relationship with my partner is just as fraught with tangles and triggers as any other relationship I have ever been in. This seems to be the nature of relationship - working out these tangles. In the past, when the tangles got too bad, it seemed like the only solution was to find someone with fewer tangles. Well, I have come to see there is no such being. We are all eternally tangled. So, how do we stay in relationship and keep it alive?
http://www.tantraforwomen.com/article5.html

Love becomes a path of awakening — rousing us from the sleep of old, unconscious patterns into the freshness and immediacy of living more fully in the present, in accord with who we really are. -- John Welwood (from a review of the film"Innocence")
http://www.spiritualityandpractice.com/films/films.php?id=3089

Like the sun's rays that cause the seed to stir within its husk, love's radiant energy penetrates the facade of the false self, calling forth resources hidden deep within us. Its warmth wakes up the life inside us, making us want to uncurl, to give birth, to grow and reach for the light. It calls on us to break out of our shell, the personality-husk surrounding the seed potential of all that we could be. The purpose of a seed husk is to protect the tender life within until the time and conditions are right for it to burst forth. Our personality structure serves a similar function. It provides a semblance of security, as a kind of compensation for the loss of our larger being. But when love's warming rays start to wake us up, our ego-shell becomes a barrier restricting our expansion. As the germ of life swells within us, we feel our imprisonment more acutely.....The brighter love's radiance, the darker the shadows we encounter; the more we feel life stirring within us, the more we also feel our dead spots; the more conscious we become, the more clearly we see where we remain unconscious. None of this need dishearten us. For in facing our darkness, we bring to light forgotten parts of our being. In recognizing exactly where we have been unconscious, we become more conscious. And in seeing and feeling the ways we've gone dead, we start to revive and kindle our desire to live more expansively.
John Welwood
Love and Awakening : Discovering the Sacred Path of Intimate Relationship,

Awareness born of love is the only force that can bring healing and renewal. Out of our love for another person, we become more willing to let our old identities wither and fall away, and enter a dark night of the soul, so that we may stand naked once more in the presence of the great mystery that lies at the core of our being. This is how love ripens us -- by warming us from within, inspiring us to break out of our shell, and lighting our way through the dark passage to new birth.
John Welwood
Love and Awakening : Discovering the Sacred Path of Intimate Relationship

Finding Your Sexual Voice (AND Speaking the Truth!)

2008-04-28T16:34:00.011-07:00

An Evening of Discovery, Laughter
and Empowerment

"My teacher used to say, 'The voice is the only instrument made by God. All the other instruments are made by man.' " -- Shabda Khan

WHAT: This Sky Dancing Tantra introductory program will help you to use your throat center as your abode of inspiration, the door that opens to a joining of your heart and mind, sex and Spirit, and to deepen intimacy with yourself, your partner and all your relations! As we mutually create a safe and heart-full space, you will be able to discover and explore your authentic, whole-body voice. Using movement, breath, sound, guided visualization, laughter and unique throat-opening exercises, you will be amazed at your ability to speak from your truth and to express the Radiant Energy of Life we call our sexuality!

WHEN: Friday May 2, 2008 7-9:30PM

WHERE: Yoga Shala, 322 W. Gurley, Prescott, AZ

WHO: for couples AND singles

COST: FREE by donation

Facilitator: Diana Owens, LCSW, CST is a certified sex therapist and Sky Dancing Tantra Teacher

To Register or for more information, call Diana at 928-445-7501 or email at lovingwaydiana@gmail.com or go to www.lovingwayretreats.com.

The Yoga of Love for Singles

2008-03-23T09:01:00.011-07:00

A Playful Step Into the Tantric Way
April 11 -13

*Spice up your Love Life and your Love of Life
*Jump into joy with this perfect introduction to Tantra
*Feel more alive and free

Free Introductory evening!
Friday, April 11, 7-9:30PM (couples also invited)
Yoga Shala, 322 W. Gurley St, Prescott, AZ.

Weekend:
Saturday 9:30am-10pm; Sunday 9:30am-12:30pm

Candlewood Retreat Center, Clarkdale, AZ

Early Bird Specials! Only$150 until 3/29, $165 until 4/7.

The wisdom of the instructors combined with the wisdom that the group created while we were all together will stay with me as I travel back to Europe. I can't wait to share how transformed I feel with my loved ones back home. Jim/Germany

I leave with no unfulfilled desires. As a single woman, I appreciated the safe and fun space for my personal growth and experience. Adrienne/Eureka, CA

You Will Take Home:
Four Keys To Ecstasy and Pleasure
Open Communication (be yourself and be loved)
Creative Practices of Intimacy
Unique and Personalized Dating Rituals
Self-Empowered Energy Exercises

For easy online registration click HERE

or call Diana at 928-445-7501

YOUR FACILITATORS: Diana Owens (certified sex therapist and certified Sky-Dancing Tantra Teacher), will be joined by Steve Wismer, a long-time Sky-Dancing Teacher and frequent assistant to Margot Anand and Steve & Lokita Carter in their world renowned workshops.

$175 after April 7th

Invest in yourself and gain skills and loving support

that will last a lifetime!

Early Bird Specials! Only$150 until 3/29, $165 until 4/7.

(still reading? in-depth article and links HERE)

A Valentine's Celebration of Heart

2008-01-08T23:46:00.001-07:00

Prescott, Arizona
February 15th and 16th, 2008
Friday 7-10pm & Saturday 10am-10:30pm

(Friday evening's introduction and Loving-Way Circle
is FREE and open to all - donations accepted)

"The way that you first felt... when you fell in love is the way that you can feel all the time." -- Jett Psaris, Ph.D., Marlena Lyons, Ph.D.

Do you yearn to deepen your love and intimacy? Have you and your beloved ever wondered how to feel the connection between spirit and sexuality? Or do you simply want to make your already good relationship even better?

Join us for this special Valentine's Day, couples-only workshop as we honor and celebrate the energy of life that is so often called "Heart".

As we work with you to create an environment of safety and respect (and fun!), you and your partner will have the opportunity to become more intimate with your own body, heart and spirit, thereby growing more sensually, emotionally and spiritually responsive to your partner and to life in general.

Diana and I regard relationship itself as a spiritual path, and our workshops derive from a combination of Eastern Tantric techniques and meditations with Western psychological approaches to mental and emotional intimacy, known as Sky-Dancing Tantra, and taught by Margot Anand. As teachers (and eternal students), we share with you the things we do in our own relationship that keep it vibrant, healthy and extraordinarily fulfilling.

HINT!! This is one Valentine's gift that your sweetheart will always remember!

Fall in love again with your beloved partner

Awaken your senses, transform old patterns, heal sexual wounds

Celebrate the miracle of intimacy with a sacred Valentine's ritual

Nurture yourself in a peaceful retreat setting in the picturesque mountains and pines of Prescott

Discover the amazing power and effectiveness of Sky-Dancing Tantra to help you deepen your loving into a spiritual experience

Cost: $225 per couple (includes lunch on Saturday)

register HERE
or call Diana at 928-445-7501 or Glenn at 507-649-2488

Glenn Bourdot and Diana Owens, Minnesota, October 2007

Diana is a licensed clinical social worker, certified sex therapist, relationship coach, trained yoga teacher and certified Sky-Dancing Tantra teacher. Glenn is a musician, writer, and trained Mankind Project facilitator with over 30 years experience in Re-Evaluation Counseling. He is also a Sky-Dancing teacher-in-training. Diana and Glenn are life partners, committed to co-creating a joyful and peaceful world, and dedicated to realizing that this very moment is their Heart's desire.
And yours.

TO REGISTER: go to www.lovingway.net
or call Diana at 928-445-7501 or Glenn at 507-649-2488

Diana Certified As Sky-Dancing Facilitator!

2007-11-23T20:00:00.001-07:00

Friday, November 23, 2007

Following a fourth and final week-long training, Diana was one of six teachers to be selected by Margot Anand, her assistants, and those of us participating, as a certified Sky-Dancing instructor! No mean feat. By turns harrowing, ecstatic, sublime, and downright nerve-wracking, Margot kept us all on our toes with surprise requests to teach certain segments without rehearsing, assist her in facilitating fellow students, and generally demonstrate that we had all done our homework. Diana was brilliant, displaying her natural ease with the material (which is vast), as well as her uncanny ability to connect with others on a soul-to-soul level.

As for yours truly, I am now an acknowledged Teacher-in-Training, and thrilled to be a member of this amazing team that is taking shape around Margot in the US. It's an exciting time to be involved in this work of ushering in to being a truly body-based spiritual path, Sky- Dancing Tantra.

Shalom-Aloha!

"Ecstasy works. Yet for a long time it has been underemployed. The time has come to rediscover it. One moment of ecstasy can transform your life." -- Margot Anand

Healing the Split - Practical Work On Self

2007-10-22T20:08:00.001-07:00

Broken cutters, broken saws,
Broken buckles, broken laws,
Broken bodies, broken bones,
Broken voices on broken phones.
Take a deep breath, feel like you're chokin',
Everything is broken.
-- Bob Dylan

A quick note about the "split". Love/sex, man/woman, spirit/matter, body/mind... the more I meditate/cogitate about these dualisms, the more amorphous they become. Yes, I know, come Monday morning, I'll be knocking off hats again. I'm not boasting of some grand *Aha* moment, and that's exactly the point I'm making. The healing of these so-called splits is supposed to take forever! It's an appropriate life's Work. Or, as we used to say back in the day: “There are no obstacles on the path, the obstacles are the path.”

The idea that Creation itself is in a fallen state is central to our collective Judeo-Christian culture. Damn near everything we see, read, or hear is aimed to bring us back to some prior unity and balance. We're all in the business. Heck, even this blog holds out some *hope* for healing!

While it's true that Tantra is a whole lot more than just sexual dexterity in a ritual format, I would not want to lead anyone (or myself) to believe that Tantra can put back together all that has become separate. But it is the most direct path that I have found to the realization that the unity I seek is within myself, and that any possibility of union "outside" of myself is null and void. Already. Even the seeking itself is just so much pulling up of bootstraps. "As if", as my 20-somethings would say.

So, if you're interested in looking at a Way to do some real work, some fun work, and explore the essence of Tantra, then by all means join us on Thursday night November 1 for our FREE evening of exercises and Puja in Minneapolis! Information HERE

Our Healing the Split Between Love and Sex workshop follows on Saturday and Sunday, November 3rd & 4th (same LINK ), Give us a call or drop a line, we'd love to hear from you!

Namaste',
Glenn & Diana

In the Spirit of Intimacy - The New Stuff!

2007-10-08T19:41:00.000-07:00

Most of the time, Diana and I learn gradually that intimacy is a gift from spirit and requires our gratitude and willingness to hear what spirit has brought us together for. With truth-telling, patience and occasional gnashing of teeth, we take a few steps forward, a couple back, often wondering if we're on the right track or not.

But every once in a while, the Big Love-Train rumbles into town and instantly blows away all doubt.

Last Friday night's class on Finding Your Sexual Voice was just such an arrival. With a small gathering of fellow passengers, Diana and I explored the connection between the human voice and Life Energy (aka "sexual energy"). Using guided meditation, ecstatic dance, and flat-out babbling gibberish to activate our deeper voices, we all laughed till our sides were sore and declared out loud our inherent freedom of speech with regard to matters of the heart and below.

It was a revelation for me to see that not only were all of our participants moving beyond their acculturated fears and speaking freely of their sexuality, they were also quite ready to do so, needing very little "instruction" from Diana or me! Afterwards, the mood in the room was riveting as person after person spoke of how touched they were to share on such a deep level. As westerners, we may still be in our adolescence concerning intimacy, but gatherings like these convince me we are taking a collective step into an adult stance in relationships.

And, as life imitates art, Diana and I went on to enjoy the most amazing weekend of clarity and deep trusting, discovering anew that frank communication of our own truths is sacred. And funny! Our stories are just fine they way they are, no apologies or fixing necessary. My overly polite, Minnesota-nice style of speaking about all things "below" to our newbies (avoiding anus-penis-vagina) is hysterically funny, actually! And I'll let you ask Diana about her favorite word that she wishes she could take back.

Somehow, in the process of learning and teaching others how to speak the body's whole truth, Diana and I were given fresh ears to hear, at least for a time. To fully embrace sexuality as sacred in this so-called culture means working against the grain, no doubt about it. But for our friends and us, compassion is the by-product that wells up as we share our stories and realize that we're not alone with our conditioned shame, self-consciousness and self-doubt. It's like finding ourselves in the sweet fresh air that surrounds a waterfall - we relax and breathe deeply. Speaking openly and honestly - in the spirit of intimacy - we even recover self-compassion, and finally (or suddenly) get an inkling of what it is to be "alove" in this world.

As Diana would say, "This is not the same old boring schtick. We've got to let our people know somehow that this is the New Stuff!"

I couldn't agree more...

Hope to see you all in November,

Namaste',
Glenn

I've kicked the habit
Shed my skin
This is the new stuff
I go dancing in, we go dancing in
Oh won't you show for me
And I will show for you
Show for me, I will show for you

Sledgehammer - Peter Gabriel

Healing the "Split" Between Love and Sex

2007-09-30T10:14:00.000-07:00

Minneapolis, Minnesota
November 3rd and 4th, 2007

Saturday 8:30 am - 9:30 pm & Sunday 8:30 am - 1:00 pm

(FREE evening introduction and Puja,
Thursday, November 1st, 7:00 - 9:30 pm)

In the yoga of tantra, shadow and light, or desire and spirituality, can live together. By accepting and allowing these apparently opposite energies within our own bodies, we build self-trust and realize greater harmony in all our relationships.

In an atmosphere of safety and fun, you will explore how to feel beyond sexual wounds such as guilt and shame, and practice balancing the healthy masculine/feminine essences within your own being to create vitality and wholeness.

Using breath and movement, humor and group dynamics, we will discover the flow between sex and heart and build a strong foundation for truly ecstatic living.

Cost: $150 - $200, sliding scale. $20 discount
for bringing a friend!
RSVP for our Minneapolis location.

Your Facilitators

Glenn Bourdot and Diana Owens

Call: Glenn at 507-649-2488 or Diana at 928-445-7501

"Healing may not be so much about getting better, as about letting go of everything that isn't you - all of the expectations, all of the beliefs - and becoming who you are." ~ Rachel Naomi Remen, M.D.

This is the second part of our on-going series In the Spirit of Intimacy

Join us and discover the unity inside and outside of yourself!

Finding Your Sexual Voice - Registration Info

2007-09-25T15:10:00.001-07:00

Finding Your Sexual Voice
(and Speaking the Truth!)

An Evening of Discovery, Laughter and Empowerment
Friday, October 5th, 2007, 7:00 - 9:30pm
Monarch Bookstore, 405 Division St Northfield, MN

A FREE evening preview of our ongoing winter series,
"In the Spirit of Intimacy"

What would your voice sound like, or feel like, free of any need to communicate? Can you get a sense that your throat center is your abode of inspiration, the door that opens to a joining of your heart and mind, sex and Spirit?

As we mutually create a safe and heart-full space, you will be able to discover and explore your authentic, whole-body voice. Using body movement, guided visualization, laughter, and a unique throat-loosening exercise, you will be amazed at your ability to speak from the Radiant Energy of Life, which, as we often point out, is commonly referred to in our culture as "sexuality". Our concluding Puja, or circle of sharing appreciations and blessings, should be super-charged indeed!

~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@

WHEN: Friday, October 5th, from 7-9:30 PM.
WHERE: The Monarch Bookstore, 405 Division St Northfield MN (back room, come in the front door)
FACILITATORS: Diana Owens, LCSW, CST. and Glenn Bourdot
TO REGISTER: CALL Glenn at 507-649-2488

Finding Your Sexual Voice

2007-09-22T22:32:00.001-07:00

My teacher used to say, "The voice is the only instrument made by God. All the other instruments are made by man." -- Shabda Khan

So - how do YOU tell your truth? The flow of love, the passion of sex - how does your sharing of this power actually sound? Can you get a sense that your throat center is your abode of inspiration, the door that opens to a joining of heart and mind, sex and Spirit?

To be sure, we never learned of such things in high school! If anything, we've all adopted a utilitarian approach of using our voice to merely express information to get the job done. As a friend of mine just told me today in all seriousness, "communication is really over-rated."

But what if communication as we know it is underdeveloped? Or, at least, still evolving?

What if telling our Truth, or finding our authentic voice, really hinged on our ability to tap into all of our levels of Consciousness, including our sexual center?

This will be the starting point of our winter series of workshops and Pujas, as Diana and I explore with you the connections between voice, sexuality and truth.

Please join us for our lead-off evening in Northfield at the Monarch Bookstore this October 5th, for meditation, movement and Shift, as we put voice to the very energy of Life, commonly referred to in our culture as "sexuality".

NamastAmen,
Glenn

Choosing Spilt Milk

2007-09-18T18:30:00.000-07:00

I'm always talking about the same thing. Ask Diana. It's why we're together, I believe, but I'll say more about that later. Right now I'll just stick to what I know.

Beyond the overwhelmingly obvious link between sex and Heart (you may all nudge-nudge each other now), it simply just blows my mind that whatever form Reality takes, it looks a heck of a lot like what I say it is.

Great sunset? Blessed be. Spilt milk? Aww, shhh... ummm, I mean, Ah-Men!

Margot Anand offers a thumbnail definition of tantra that also applies to this peculiar ability of "the world out there" to mirror our inner assumptions about it. "Choose with awareness", she says, "that which brings you joy, and opens your heart to spirit."

Needless to say, I am indebted to Margot (and Diana) for the title of this very blog, Choosing the Loving Way. Here, I intend to highlight, celebrate, and rave sublimely about the sheer miracle of Existence, the galvanizing power of Shadow, and the ineffable breakthroughs into Light and Love Itself. Choosing the Loving Way will also serve as a means of networking and creating community for all those interested in Diana's work and writing and our workshops together.

For now, I will leave you with another photo that I took of Diana and me this summer, as I am still learning how to use this site! And just because I can...

Namaste'